Rahi turns 18 today. He only looks 14 though. At the age of 53 I have been told that I look around 60. He has got his mom’s gene. Lucky him. 

When he was very young he once asked me “what should I be when I grow’… I thought for a while and answered  ‘you should be happy when you grow’

Yes be happy. It does not matter… your job, title, assets.. that is all your choice. I just want you to be happy. What is my life worth if you gain everything in the world and yet cannot be happy. Just be happy. But never should a drop of someone else’s tears be feeding your happiness. 

When you are eighteen or twenty, you might feel fifty to be too far off. I thought so too. But they come fast. So think what you want to be when you are in your fifties. 

As you let your life chase your dream, leave 10% for that fifties. Then keep another 20% to build strong relationships and live for others. Learn to give. To let go. To allow people to be who they are. Don’t impose on others. You still have 70% left for all that you want to do. All that you want to do without causing harm to others. 

Be better than me. You will be better than what I ever have been.. what I ever can be. Don’t follow my footsteps. You need to travel further than me and my footsteps will stop one day in the future. I don’t want you to be lost at that time. Find your way. The world is vast, bigger and mysterious and filled with possibilities than what I can ever show you.

Not a dad, but I want to be your friend. Only if you are ok with it. If you are ready to forgive my shortcomings as a role model and father. I can be your ‘a bit elderly’ friend if you may.

You are still in high school yet I will try best to not interfere in anything you do. I will try, but I know I could fail. Be responsible. You can reach me anytime you want. I think you have the maturity, and I hope we have the relationship to come to me when you need me. 

For several years I have written every year on your birthday. I have nothing new to say. As you get mature, I know I will start acting immature. Please be patient with me. Yesterday your sister said “You both don’t have any kids now, we are both adults” Yes that is true.. it feels weird.. makes me feel old… but that is a fact. 

One more thing.. People might tell you that this world is bad and that there are so many problems. It is about perspectives. I don’t say it is perfect, but perspectives matter. If you feel this world is good it is good, Is you think there are problems, then do something about it. Work towards finding solutions. Don’t stand on the sidelines and complain. Change what you don’t like. And live that change wholeheartedly.

No one who has lived a complete life has ever failed. So for you I will again share that beautiful poem by Carl Sandburg… “A Father to his son”

A father sees his son nearing manhood.
“Life is hard; be steel; be a rock.”
And this might stand him for the storms
and serve him for humdrum monotony
and guide him among sudden betrayals
and tighten him for slack moments.
“Life is a soft loam; be gentle; go easy.”
And this too might serve him.
Brutes have been gentled where lashes failed.
The growth of a frail flower in a path up
has sometimes shattered and split a rock.
A tough will counts. So does desire.
So does a rich soft wanting.
Without rich wanting nothing arrives.
Tell him too much money has killed men
and left them dead years before burial:
the quest of lucre beyond a few easy needs
has twisted good enough men
sometimes into dry thwarted worms.
Tell him time as a stuff can be wasted.
Tell him to be a fool every so often
and to have no shame over having been a fool
yet learning something out of every folly
hoping to repeat none of the cheap follies
thus arriving at intimate understanding
of a world numbering many fools.
Tell him to be alone often and get at himself
and above all tell himself no lies about himself
whatever the white lies and protective fronts
he may use against other people.
Tell him solitude is creative if he is strong
and the final decisions are made in silent rooms
Tell him to be different from other people
if it comes natural and easy being different.
Let him have lazy days seeking his deeper motives.
Let him seek deep for where he is born natural.
Then he may understand Shakespeare
and the Wright brothers, Pasteur, Pavlov,
Michael Faraday and free imaginations
Bringing changes into a world resenting change.
He will be lonely enough
to have time for the work
he knows as his own.

Happy Birthday Rahi ❤️😍