It is almost 1:30 AM in the morning
Yesterday was my Birthday
I turned an year older yesterday.
Well that is is not right, I just turned a day older yesterday
But a whole year came piling on me one single day
You know the feeling, I don’t need to tell you.

What does that mean to me.
Getting older
Having less time to live
Knowing you are closer to leaving your near and dear ones
Or near and dear ones will leave you.
Why does this have to be so tough

When I was twenty, I did not think of an end.
I was at the beginning. So I thought
I might have felt like a start for five years of my life
Then it was all time passing.
First it was about getting older
Getting old enough to do things kids cannot do
And then it was about getting old.
When you know time is running out.

What is the next 30 years of my life going to be
Why is 30 an important number. It is not.
It is just another number.
A number that gives me enough time
Enough time to live again.
Enough time to be someone again
Enough time to do something
Enough time to start over again
Enough time to make up for my mistakes

And enough time to do it all right
But I know.
I will never do it all right. No one can.
But there is an opportunity
To know it will end in some time
To know my limitedness
My finite existence
My Opportunity to change.
My chance to search and find me