I have been having this column for over two months and what started as a daily thought section has gone astray and wandered into areas that I am not sure about. Somewhere I landed on an idea that the self is not one but two, the external and the internal self, both complementing, contradicting and existing alongside making the self complete. My attempt has been to explore many of the human facets through this concept of two selves and I know that many of these are not always making much sense. Should I get my thoughts straight and then write or should I write as they come. I think it is better to scribble in the open so that the thoughts are not generated through a deliberate and planned effort, but free to form, develop and contradict. What good does it do, nothing may be, but do you belong to a clan that does only good every step, no you are human, you are free, and you wander…
How do people keep interest in something and loose interest in some other things? There is an old saying that too much of any things is not good. But interests develop and go on till it reaches a point where you individually loose the relevance of an interest. The whole point of doing something gets lost and then any innovation or creative effort you put in that interest it will no more affect you the same way. This might be the reason that people have different interests at different times.
An individual is the product of what happens around him they say which means that he is always under the influence of external things to like and dislike anything. People also reach certain walks of life and look back and think that they have been doing something they don’t like. But what they don’t understand is that this has gone through three stages. First they used to like what they did and then they changed to dislike it and then after some time they realized that they have changed and that is when they feel wasted.
Accepting change as it happens is not very easy as change is not always fast and noticeable, they happen gradually making you adapt and unaware at the same time. The only way to be aware is by listening, not seeing, but listening. And listening in the context of two selves is slightly different. You let yourself (external self) cultivate interests and live the world and you (your internal self) sits inside and just listens and observes. This is slightly different from viewing yourself from the outside. Here it is total inaction by your internal self, inaction but impacted.