I once used to be in the camp that considered Valentine ’s Day as something immoral. Growing up in India during the 80s and early 90s we did not get to see much of valentine’s day celebration. The first taste of it was during my REC Engineering years from 89 to 93 when we had something called Rose Day which I never knew back then that it signifies Valentine’s day. To be honest in college I did not know that something called Valentine’s day existed. Above that my left political bend motivated me to take a stand against Rose Day and I will tell you why 🙂
Rose Day was an event run by whom we thought were the urbane faction of the campus. We also believed that this urbane faction considered us to be too unsophisticated. We also believed it to a Right of the center event 🙂 The Rose Day event was where guys and girls can pay money to a group who is hosting it and they will publicly take their Rose and Message to the respective person. Though there were Roses for friendship as well, the spotlight was always on the red rose recipients and aspirants.
Another reason for me to be against the Rose Day was that someone at that time convinced me that it is an unfair practice and will result in a small number of girls (who might not be that good looking) to not get any roses and that way make them feel low. I really found that argument very acceptable. But now looking back I find the frailty of that argument. Because it was not like we had 1000 girls and 998 get roses and 2 don’t get, it was vice versa. Two or maximum 3 girls got roses and rest remained roseless. And for guys they remained roseless all over…
The reason for some girls remaining roseless was not because girls were not pretty. It had to do with the gusy I guess more than girls. It was a mix of lack of money and motivation and an excess of laziness and fear on the guys part. Anyway 2 or 3 girls from every batch managed to amass most of the roses often driving it from the pockets of the same few guys. It might also have to do with the time and place we lived and grew up in. Expressing love in the open was considered a weakness for guys and a form of corruption for girls. Nevertheless for many love blossomed in its own private sweetness like any other colleges.
There used to be clashes between Rose Day supporters and Rose Day protesters (the camp I belonged to). Now years later when I look back I see how silly I was and wish to apologize to anyone I would have hurt in my absurdity. That being said we also had a few guys who cloned the Rose Day for a Juice Day and to their surprise people came forward and paid them. I am sure the money made its way to Juice shop but the juice might not have made it to the reciepient. That is a whole different story.
So when did I start thinking that Valentine’s Day was OK. I don’t know because I was never a major participator in the celebration until I was married… which also shows that I did not have a crush worthwhile to risk the money for even a rose. I know people now might find that unbelievable… but that is the fact… There were many one way attractions and infatuations like many guys of my time, but a two way acknowledgment never existed. And I guess for the fear of rejection I never proposed. The one I proposed I married…. Once Married I made sure Valentine’s day is celebrated in all its glory. I am nowhere saying one should be married to celebrate. It is just me… My Valentine celebration started after marriage.
So what is the significance of Valentine’s Day for me? Since before and after Marriage my Valentine has been the same person my opinions are more as a married man, though I know that makes the possibilities a bit narrow. But I love it that way…. 🙂 Again that is just me….
For me I look at Valentine’s day like a Birthday or anniversary and use it to acknowledge in a grand way the importance of your spouse in your life. We all experience the importance of our spouses and also acknowledge it on a regular basis, but a day to do something special is not bad.
What do I feel about Valentine’s day today knowing that I used to oppose it years back? I think we all learn new things and new perspectives of life. We change or we giveaway to change and at times put ourselves in a point of ridicule because we change. But then who cares what people say… if we do not change because of what you believe then you are not being our self.
Now for every Valentine’s I do something special for my Valentine and I think it is an integral part of my life