How does someone feel complete? On December 30th one more day and you step into a new year. Your one year is complete and you used up another year of your life. Do you feel complete? what does complete mean? Does it mean different things for different people?
Over the years I have heard people say they feel incomplete, often as a realization to something missing; love, money, emotional security… what ever that may be… incomplete is often heard. But how does one feel complete?
There are no ‘one size fits all’ answer to such a question and that is the first thing that need to be understood before we all try to explore an answer to our liking. In my opinion what we all can attain is perspectives of completeness. I can share my perspective and may be you can think about yours. And it need not be the same or even anywhere similar. We live in a world where there are more than one ‘correct answer’ to every question.
Completeness for me is a momentary impulse. There is no hard and fast rule that completeness is an end to incompleteness. It is a feeling that can come and go. Since we live in an ever expanding universe, our thoughts, fears, wants, are all ever expanding. But while we expand our feelings we often get a moment where we feel that nothing is bothering us anymore. Many times the moment you feel that way something pushes you out of that comfort zone and you are back to square one.
But does that mean Completeness does not exist? No I am not saying that. It does exist, but it is not something you hang on to once you get it. It is something that you feel, let go, live and may be feel again after some other time.
In the new year how can we try to be complete more often?
I have a simple process that has worked for me and want to share with you this new year.
First I list out all the things I love to do and then list out all the things I have to do. For some people these are the same but for many they are quite different, even if some do not accept it. Now the ‘things I love to do’ is very personal and not always do other people know about this. Only you come to know about it when you are deprived of doing it. The “things I have to do” are more public, people know about it, they might depend on it for their activities, they will give you suggestions on the same and these are the things that make you part of the society.
Once I have these things I first see if I can equate some of the items. Sometimes they do overlap and that makes me happy. Sometimes there are exactly opposite and that is when I have to make a tough call. I have to strike out one from one of the list and that is a tough decision. I do it in such a way that my aim is that this tough call of mine does not hurt me.
When I do this a few times these lists kind of lie on the background of my mind. And I have often felt completeness when I know that I have been able to give my time to items from both lists every day. And I feel incomplete when one list is ignored.
I am not saying this is the only way… but this is the way I have felt it… We all talk from our perspectives of the world, sometimes in that process we share the same views, sometimes we disagree and argue, but in all good faith we accept that it is both the acceptances and disagreements that make things complete for us. we need them all.
I wish you all a 2015 that will give you the completeness that you wish for. Try making these two lists and see how they go for you… You might always have to do things that you do not really like to do, because that is how life is… but you should not ignore what you love to do… because that keeps you alive and happy.