Why do we Hate ?

Hate is a very strong word, dislike is more mellowed. It is important to use dislike instead of hate, because with the word ‘Hate’ people are not going to be honest. I am sure there will also be folks who will say they don’t dislike anyone. Great, one should never have a goal to dislike anyone.

But let me be honest. I do have people I dislike. Most of them don’t even know that. It is not like I make my dislike obvious. Sometimes there is too much at stake. So I live with some dislikes. I definitely try to minimize the interactions I might have with them. Over the years I think I have gotten better to dislike and not let the other person be aware.

That said over time I have found my dislike to go away. It loses its significance and gravity in all senses. The person just becomes one among the many you have to interact to move on in life and work. I don’t know if it is because you moved past them or they changed onto a different lane.

But I also know that some dislikes can make it difficult for us to be happy. I have had them as well. I have had to work through it and instead of ignoring finding more connection points to interact with the other person. I have succeeded every time except twice. Both these people I don’t need to interact with at all. They remain in my list of ‘my most disliked people’ . I don’t mean to remove them off the list. It is a reminder when I connect with people. It is a learning experience.

I have also found that people I have liked in the first meeting have proven me wrong and people I have disliked in our first meeting have also proven me wrong. So I am a poor judge of people when I meet them and I need long interactions and sailing in a boat together for a while before I can know them. Even then I don’t think I am good at reading people.

Now that Is what is funny. I am not good at reading people and yet I do dislike some people. I would not have written this if I had to write this using the word Hate. So No , I don’t hate anyone, I just dislike a very small number.



Categories: Opinions

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

1 reply

  1. I like the reframe of using ‘dislike’ instead of ‘hate.’ I can also relate to what you mean in terms of people surprising you over time- the first meeting or two is often not enough to know which camp they may fall in to 🙂

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